Sunday, December 20, 2009

236: We've got news

Dear friends,

This e-mail consists of two parts. The part your are reading is a narrative about aging and new beginnings. The second part is a retrospective, looking back on our lives in Namibia in 2009 via photographs (an attachment).

The narrative started last June, when a bug entered my brain and my whole body started feeling antsy. Well, maybe it didn’t exactly START back then, but that’s when I began putting words to the feelings. We had just passed our 12th anniversary in Namibia, and I felt ready for something new. So, I took Bernd out for a romantic dinner and asked him a leading question. “Sweetie,” I said, “If you were to go around the world, just hypothetically, what would you want to do?”

At first, Bernd answered innocently. “I’d like to see something interesting, like mountains and nature and wildlife. And historical places and maybe some culture. Yes, culture goes with it. What’s about you?”

I said, “I would like adventure, with good stories to tell.”

I think this is when Bernd began to realize this was no longer just an idle conversation. But for a while, he played along, “What do you mean by adventure?”

I answered, “I would want to do interesting things, meet interesting people, grow closer to you and feel more at peace with myself.”

Bernd said, “You mean, like something you have never done before?” Then he waited a moment and offered, “If so, I have an idea.”

I got excited, “You do?”

Bernd smiled inwardly: “Yes, you could stay put and not go anywhere for a while. Now that would be really different for you.”

Hmmn. Obviously, I needed to try a different approach.

In July Bernd and I went to Zanzibar and had a fabulous time (see Diary #230), and I raised the issue again. By this time, Bernd knew what was coming and was better prepared. He also began warming up to the idea. But being the logical one in the family, he insisted that we should first check out our health, then our finances, and only then indulge in our fantasies. Some weeks later, when the first of these came out clean, we decided to put our Swakopmund (beach) house on the market to raise the money we would need. At the same time, I started to have doubts: At our age, wasn’t this idea a bit reckless?

In July, I flew back to Tanzania for work and spent a weekend with Sister Raphaela, with whom I had co-founded Catholic AIDS Action in Namibia in 1998 (see Diary #232). We had worked together in Namibia for eight years, before her religious order called her back to southern Tanzania. Although now approaching her 70th birthday, she remains active as the prioress of her religious order, as head of a regional high school that she founded two years ago, as trustee for the District Hospital, and as director of Uzima, a local offshoot of Catholic AIDS Action.

During our weekend together, we found ourselves talking late into the night like old schoolgirls. I had promised Bernd that we would keep our ideas a secret until we felt confident enough to go public, so I didn’t say anything. Nevertheless, Sister Raphaela asked me: “When you look back at your decision to move to Namibia, what do you think?”

I answered without hesitation, “It was the best decision our family ever made.” Sr Raphaela responded in kind. “Yes, I would agree with you: living in Namibia was the best part of my life, so far. But I have to add, ‘so far.’ You never know what might come next, if you just stay open to the future.”

Was Sister Raphaela prescient or just guessing? I always appreciated Sister Raphaela’s God-connection. Was her message coming from some Higher Power?

Two months later, I became convinced we were on the right track. This time, I was talking to my friend Sue Parry in Zimbabwe about our dreams, adding that in a way I felt silly about our starting over at ages 58 and 64, respectively. Sue answered by quoting Mother Theresa to me. As you read the quote, be sure to answer the question for yourself, too. According to Sue, Mother Theresa once said, “If you didn’t know how old you are, how old would you say you are?”

Great question, I thought. Then I answered, “43.”

Sue added one piece of Mother-Theresa advice. “Now, act it!” she said.

Oh wow! What fun! I couldn’t wait to pop the question to Bernd. If he answered similarly, then I would know we’re on the same wavelength.

So before I told Bernd how I responded, as soon as I got home I asked him, “If you didn’t know how old you are, how old would you say you are?”

Bernd hesitated momentarily and then took a deep breath.

“45,” he said.

Whew!

With this, we starting talking and searching the Internet in earnest, and we agreed on certain parameters:

1. We would wait to go until Elsita leaves Namibia for graduate school, probably next summer.
2. We would spend 11 months to a year traveling, using one of the round-the-world 16-stop tickets from the big airline networks (One-World or the Star Alliance)
3. We would go to mostly new places, touching all seven continents.
4. We would travel primarily in cheap countries, but intersperse them with some big splurges (see below).
5. Six months of the year will be spent volunteering for “good causes.” The first of these will be at the Belize Botanic Garden (obviously in Belize), staring in September 2010. We’re still looking for a second site, hopefully in Asia. (We shall apply through the American Jewish World Service but they are not yet accepting applications - so alternate ideas are also welcome.)
6. We will learn Travel-Spanish for three weeks in Nicaragua, and put it to practice in Bolivia, Peru and Ecuador.
7. Bernd would fulfill his life-dream of going to the South Georgia Islands, the Falkland Islands and Antarctica, and Lucy would get her life-dream of traveling for the same number of days in Northern India.
8. We would take two long hikes (Ireland and New Zealand), and bunk with friends and relatives wherever possible to save costs and renew old acquaintances.
9. We willl keep a blog, email frequently and/or stay connected via FaceBook.
Bernd decided to stop Lecturing at the Polytechnic in June next year and I shall quit Family Health International in February, but keep up with consulting work until we’re ready to take off. Last week the house sold in Swakopmund, so we know now that this is truly “beshert” (meant to be) – and we’re very excited!

Sergio and Elsita are the wild-cards: they don’t know where they will be next year; so we don’t know where (or when or if) we’ll meet up. As for our local (Namibian) kids, we shall maintain our support through the Saving Remnant program, allow four of the youngsters to stay in our home in Windhoek (in exchange for dog-duty and general house maintenance), and postpone our long-range plans until after we come back and figure out what-next. (This probably won’t involve another extensive stay in Namibia, but we can’t say for sure. Even for plan-and-pack-ahead freaks like us, deciding things that far ahead would be extreme.)

Meanwhile, all recommendations, advice and good wishes are welcome.

Yours truly,

Lucy and Bernd

P.S. Sister Namibia Magazine just came out with a huge double-issue in which both Lucy (on her work in Namibia) and Elsita (on adoption) are featured. Check out the brand-new Sister Namibia website (still under construction) where you can click onto this latest issue of the magazine. www.sisternamibia.org

P.S. Enjoy the attachment, and it’s Elsita who was wind-surfing, not me.